Friday, September 30, 2005

Half Nekkid Thursday and AOL

In the spirit of half nekkid Thursday, since I don't participate yet (due to a lack of a working digital camera) this picture is my lame contribution. And it's late due to Blogger maintenance as well.

Let's get to a good old rant though, while we're here. I apologize in advance for those of you who use AOL, and like it. I did a "free trial" with them last Spring, for two months. And according to their rules, I terminated my free period before the end of the two months. Almost 6 months later, I got a bill today asking for $160. I called, and the only positive thing I can say is I didn't have to wait, they must have finally hired more people to handle complaints, since they seem to have so many. The lady, let's call her "Stupid Piece of Human excrement" to make it easy, asked how she could help me.

Me: I had two months of a free trial, canceled it, and I now have a $160 bill for service I did not use.

Stupid Piece of Human excrement: I have no record of you canceling your trial period.
Obviously, you twit, or I wouldn't be holding this bill.

Me: Apparently, or I wouldn't have been billed. However, I did call and cancel.

Stupid Piece of Human excrement: I show no record of this, sir. Do you have your cancellation order number?

Me: No, I don't even think they gave me such a number, and I didn't think it was a difficult task for you to turn off my free trial.

Stupid Piece of Human excrement: Without a record or number, you owe $160.

Me: You can see by the account activity that I did not use it past my free trial date, therefore I am not paying it.

Stupid Piece of Human excrement: My Supervisor who must have magically appeared nearby and mystically known all details of the conversation said I could reduce it to $90, and if you pay at least $50 of it today, you can avoid going to collections.

Collections? Oh Reallllllyyyyy......

Me: I am not paying anything, unless you can show me I used the account past my free trial, which I did not. Let me talk to your Supervisor.

Stupid Piece of Human excrement: He is no longer available, sir. I guess he magically teleported away, as quickly as he had appeared.

Me: Who can I talk to about this then? It's obviously not her, and my patience with her is quickly running out.

Stupid Piece of Human excrement: I can give you the Dispute Department as soon as you decide if you are paying $50, the minimum, $90, or the full amount.

Me: I am not paying any amount, I am disputing the entire freaking bill,

Stupid Piece of Human excrement: The address is PO Box something something. And how much did you want to pay today?

Me: Nothing! And you are seriously telling me that a technology based company doesn't have an email address or website for disputes? Only a PO box? I find that hard to believe. I do find that hard to believe.

Stupid Piece of Human excrement: Yes sir, your dispute must be in writing. Which amount will you be disputing in your letter?

Totally exasperated by now. Me: All of it!

Stupid Piece of Human excrement: I'm not sure I understand sir, so what amount exactly are you wanting to pay right now?

Silence. End Call.

Never again. Ever.

13 comments:

LBseahag said...

I feel your pain....
I have AO-hell cuz my company pays for it...
a few weeks ago I had a 152.00 charnge on my debit card, causing me to bounce a check for something else...i was pissed...
i spoke to the same piece of excement you did....he said, oh, we billed you for Jinxcat695689 or something like that....
apparently i am not the only one with a cat named jinx...(my sn is mycatjinx) and AO-hell penalized me for it...
DAMN THEM....
Thanks a lot for hitting a sore spot...
DAMN THEM!

Bobby said...

LB, sorry for hitting a sore spot. THey are just complete idiots sometimes. Ok, most of the time.

DaMasta said...

Damn. That's like those commericals about Bank of America, calling it Bank of the Northern Hemisphere. Companies like that think they are ALL POWERFUL!!

Ritmeyer said...

Oh man! Southwestern Bell did that to me a couple of months ago. I called and turned off my phone, got a bill for 3 months after I moved. Called them and got the whole, how much do you want to pay shit. I ended up demanding they go through the calls they record. They found it and I didn't have to pay anything. That did however take 5 months went to collections. I am now disputing the credit report ding. Sometimes I wonder if I should screw the whole "It's the principle" thing and just pay the shit.

Spinning Girl said...

Are you sure you weren't talking to Sprint?

babyjewels said...

Oh, that just sucks. Give'em hell, bobby.

LBseahag said...

Uh-oh...I am double screwed- I pay for my AO-hell with my Bank of the Norther Hemisphere card!

kris said...

OMG, my heart aches for you. Seriously.

ghartstein said...

America Off Line
America's Oldest and Lamest

Oh, I could go on....

Hypersonic said...

Glad to see that this is international, some years ago I did the same thing, hated it and cancelled a month before the end of the trial, even taking the AOL programme off the computer. Lo and behold! One month after the expiry date of the free trial I'm billed for the service. Essentially this is something that happens alot here in Brazil and it always pays to get the name of the person you're speaking to, the date, time and a protocol number, and by law they have to record every call that comes through the call centre. But still I had this piece of shite telling me I owed them money and that if I didn't pay withtin the next thirty I would be taken to court. So I had a lawyer friend send an email to AOL Brazil with all the information that I had gathered and...welll, I never didi hear from them again.
Never, but never deal with Arseholes Only Loosen.

Monkey said...

Not only is this international, AOHell's policy of "we only cancel your account if you come down here and write it out in blood, in front of legal counsel" has spread to phone companies, cable companies, credit card companies.

I moved a little over a year ago, and out of the 12 major moves of my life, it was the most traumatic because nothing was cancelled until after months of negotiations. I feel your pain. Oh yes, I do.

Bobby said...

At least I don't feel alone in this now.

I am still fighting mine, but oh, I will win.

Hypersonic said...

Just get a lawyer to send a cease and desist form to the AOL head-office. That normally does the trick, ask him to point out that this can be classified as harrassment and that there are laws against that in this state...etc. etc. etc. Scares them shitless.