I am sure some of you read the title and thought, "wow, I had no idea that Bobby was a bird watcher" or "is Bobby using bird in the form they do in England?" I am not an avid bird watcher, but the other morning, when all was still quiet and serene, a lovely bird was in a nearby tree. (I didn't have a camera or phone, so no pics of the actual bird.) It was chirping in a nice little melody, not annoying at all, and was holding still while spreading one wing out, then the other, and then both at the same time. It was beautiful. It flew and landed a few feet from me, and no, it wasn't a bird that looked like a pigeon or vulture, looking for food. It was a wild bird, that was possibly having a serene moment as well, and maybe, just maybe, it was thinking similar things about me, wanting to check me out. The markings on this bird were beautiful, and I held good and still, so as to not scare it away. It edged ever closer to my foot, making a new sound, and starting a new song. It was peaceful, and made me feel all calm inside. As it finally got close enough, I kicked it and ran over to it and stomped it a few more times. I didn't want it to suffer, but with all of this bird flu stuff going around, you just can't be too careful these days. I am sure Bush would be proud of me, helping America deal with this huge epidimic. If enough of us do our part, we can stop this bird disease before it gets any worse.no birds were actually harmed in the writing of this blog. PETA people and Bird Watchers, please don't hound me, or I will leave dead birds on your doorstep.
13 comments:
Oh my! I choked on my uvula. Again.
I love bird watching actually. My son does it too, which guarantees that he will be shunned by all classmates in middle school.
Thank you for doing your part Bobby. You saved America and my son too.
HAAAA HAAAA!! FRICKIN' FUNNY!!! I KNEW IT!!! I JUST KNEW IT!!! BOBBY...DAMMIT...YOU'RE FRICKIN FUNNY...
..SHIT.
no you di'int!
HAHAHAHAHA!
that was hi-fucking-larious.
I love it!
And have you heard the latest? Some studies have shown that of the people who died of Alzheimers, something like 15% were given indepth autopsies and they really died of the human form of mad cow disease. I think cow tipping with Bobby just got a whole lot messier. Bobby and Bush, working together to kill all life on earth.
HAHAHAHAHAHA!
GodDAMNit, Bobby, you got me chuckling. Hard.
Because first, I was like, "Whatever. Your cigarette would have bugged the bird." But then, I was enraptured by this lovely little feathery creature...all set to demolish you with the flu.
I'm sure Bush would thank you from the bottom of his fowl little heart.
Pun intended.
Wait, am I the only one who thinks you really did it?
;)
Then you went to the store, picked up some cranberry sauce, a box of stove-top, and said, "honey, dinner is served!"
that is what i call being resourceful...
mmmmm...cranberry sauce and stove-top.....
Monkey, hope your uvula is okay.
Damasta, you knew it? You don't think i could be a bird watcher? yeah, you're right.
SG, oh yes I did. I think birds are part of the axis of evil. they were terrorist birds, yes they were.
Kim, thanks. :)
Librarian, cows? really? cool, I live in a town where you can get to a cow in any direction in less than ten minutes. If the news starts reporting multiple cow tippings, you know whose responsible.
Frtiz, nice pun. I like it when people aren't chicken and say what they mean. (It's early, let me have my chicken moment.)
Kris, heh, I could do it. especially if the bird was coughing or sneezing or had a box of theraflu.
LB, birds taste like chicken. but you can't eat the sick ones.....
Duff, I prefer a homemade seasoning, but stove top works in a pinch.
We have lots of birds...my wife puts bird feeders all over our property. Perhaps you need to stop by...
I read this a day ago and couldn't comment at the time. I really needed a laugh and you provided a good one. Naughty Bobby.
Oh my God--you kill me. The funny thing is I was looking at an adorable bird this morning and thinking about how weird it is that I have never cared much for birds or bird-watching or nature of any of that nonsense, and then I wondered how I could form that into a blog post, and then came and read yours and saw that there's no point in my trying! Well done, you bird-hating psychopath!
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