One of the plethora of functions I will be performing in my new job is to answer questions from the website. First, let me explain, I am in HR, as you all know, and this time I am specializing in Staffing and Recruitment. So on this website, which most of you probably have seen, is to answer "job related" questions, from the "job related" section of the website, which isn't easy to find, unless you happen to be looking for a job. However, some people skip the main web, the main contact emails, and ask a question in the job related section. I thought I would share some from this week. Remember, this email is to answer "job related" questions, and is clearly marked..... My answers I wish I could have shared are in italics.
"I have an interview on Thursday, what should I wear?"
If you have to ask, wear some daisy suke cut offs and a tube top. It will impress/distract the interviewer.
"My daughter worked for two days and hasn't gotten paid. Where is her check?"
Your daughter's check is located with her work ethic. They both seem to be lost currently, but may turn up when she matures.
"My universal remote is NOT universal. Please reply or I will contact a lawyer."
Or, you could return it to the store. The gas will cost you less than a lawyer. And the lawyer will want a large portion of your replacement remote, so....
"How do I fill out an application?"
If you missed the links on "how to fill out an application, or have never done so, please don't bother.
"I saw your online application, and the statement you only take online applications. I don't have internet access, please email me a paper application."
Please let me know how you email without internet acesss, and I will teleport an application right over.
"I am curently a stor worcker, and want to worck on your websit, pleese send me informacion on this job."
Yes, we are currently working on a website for ignorant people who can't spell. Please send your resume asap.
"Please forward this to your president. I am very mad."
Thank you, the president responded and said to walk it off.
Ok, so they wouldn't let me respond like this, but these are actual questions, and these aren't even good ones, according to my new co-workers, so more to come.
7 comments:
HA!
Stupid ignorant morons. Lambast them! Or, teleport yourself to their homes and beat them senseless with a modem.
Wow. Bobby you must be a patient man! I am a server part time and I get so frustrated by some of the stupid requests. My favorite this week:
"I'm very allergic to garlic and onions. Please make sure that no garlic or onions even touch my plate. And, I have lactose intolerance so leave the cheese off of my pasta as well."
Why the F*** did you come to an Italian restaurant then?
if this is going to be an ongoing post series i am SOOO excited!! these are really real? YAHOOOOO!!!! i love stupid people for all the laughs they provide us semi intelligent ones. though i imagine to some alien race out there they are tuned into our news stations with translators and are laughing their asses off at us!!
People ask me all the time if the patrons I deal with are faking how dumb they are for a prank and I always answer that if they were that good at acting, they'd be entertaining themselves and others in Showbiz and making boatloads of cash... not asking me for the third time this week, how old Ozzy is. Isn't it amazing how stupid people can be and still be alive?
I look very forward to your stories of stupid questions. It makes me feel less alone amongst the morons. :)
Hizzle, ironically, we thought about creating a complaint department just to satisy some emails. (Not a real one, just one to tell people about....)
Fritz, yes, but those morons create work for me, so I'll leave em alone for a while...
Kristi, thats ludicrous. I am patient, but I also dont have to do it live. I can read the email, laugh/cry/yell for a while and then answer.
Brico, yes, I will share more. And Aliens would laugh for a decade or two, but then get bored.
Librarian, glad to help. I thought about your patrons when I first saw some of these emails.
proof that some folks are just.....special.
i'm looking forward to seeing more of these. the ignorance of others really amuses me.
Oh my! I died laughing about the stor worcker!
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