Politically Correct Holiday Greeting

You have heard previously how overboard the last company I worked for was with being politically correct, not offending anyone, etc. The past four years I sent out the email below as my "Holiday Greeting." It was meant as a parody of all of the different complaints about the "Holiday Season", but it was amazing how many people would write me back and ask if they could use the email. This is not mine, I don't know where I found it, so feel free to use it.... (And I am so glad the new place I am working is not this politically correct.)

A totally PC holiday greeting.

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally-conscious, socially-responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all . .
AND a fiscally-successful, personally-fulfilling, and medically-uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2006, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great, (not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only "America" in the western hemisphere),and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform, or sexual preference of the wishee.
DISCLAIMER:By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of
this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.

--------
Yes, I really sent this out. Sad. Merry Christmas everyone. I said it. If you don't celebrate it, fine, I'm not forcing you. If you celebrate something else, cool, go for it, but it doesn't mean I have to wish a happy "whatever the hell you are doing."