one step forward, two steps back....

Ups and Downs. Wow, what a weird ass weekend. Friday, I finally found a dentist that accepted my lame insurance. Then, the insurance people said I wasn't eligible. I straightened that out, and was about to be seen, when I was informed that the visit would be at least 125 dollars. I had brought 20 for the visit, and 20 for a prescription, and couldn't barter with them, so didnt get seen. Then, Friday night, after killing some pain with bourbon, I got my OFFICIAL JOB OFFER with my deadline accepted and my salary agreed to. Hurray!
Then, Saturday, the tooth pain was so bad I was going insane. Justin got my old dentist on the phone and he called in antibiotics and a few painkillers, hurray.
Them someone came to tell us that my car, out of the shop for 4 1/2 days had been hit, the bumper tore off, by an Aaron's Rental Delivery truck. (I may remove their name tomorrow, if they agree to pay the damages.) But for now, I have witnesses that saw it, and they aren't open, so screw it. Today, we sort of got the bumper temporarily fixed so I can drive it, carefully.

Anyway, lots of ups and downs this weekend. Pain's setting back in, so it's about time for a pain killer and some bourbon, after I test drive the car around to see if the bumper will stay on. But tomorrow is my official start date after "temping" for three months.

I hope everyone's weekends had more ups and downs.

I'm not insane, maybe.

I found out from other kind bloggers that my Saturday post that disappeared wasn't a hallucination, it was a blogger error.

In that post, I explained the meaning of life, the key to happiness, how to find true love, and why platypuses exist.

Now, it's gone forever. Don't blame me, blame blogger.

My tooth, yet to be fixed, because the infection isn't gone, is freaking killing me. But I just found a new dentist that believes in pain management, so, hopefully they can help me tomorrow. Currently my pain management consists of xanax and bourbon, which works well at home. Not so well at work, though.

7 days left for them to meet my deadline at work to make me permanent. It's looking good, but you never know.

As for the answer to life, the universe, and everything, I will stick with Douglas Adams, and share with you the answer.

42.

That is all. Except for my inspired use of a new word that Spinning Girl made me start using all of the time.

Vajayjay.

I figure between 42 and vajayjay, the answer has to be there somewhere.

Where'd it go?

i really wrote, and posted, a new post earlier. and now it's gone.

I'm not drinking. i even had to stop and think, to make sure i didn't dream doing the post. but i did do it.

what the hell is going on?

i am not posting again, until blogger gets their crap together....

Except for this.

You Are Fozzie Bear

"Wocka! Wocka!" You're the life of the party, and you love making people crack up. If only your routine didn't always bomb! You may find more groans than laughs, but always keep the jokes coming.

The Muppet Personality Test

Fozzy was always one of my favorites. The other night I said wocka wocka, and most of the room, (younger than me), all looked at me like I was insane. Then someone said, "hey, that's Fozzy from the muppets! I've seen them on nick at nite!"

I feel so old sometimes.

Blood is red, like roses.

Yes, valentine's day is Tuesday. Tuesday is new DVD day. Saw 2 is being released on Valentine's day. Romantic as hell, isn't it? How many couples will lovingly sit next to each other on the sofa, sharing a bag of microwave popcorn, stare romantically into each other's eyes, and then, one of them will softly whisper, "press play, honey."

Sounds disturbing, and maybe it's because we've been together for 5 years, but this is our plan for Valentine's Day. Watching a bunch of people get tortured, in highly graphic scenes, and exchanging loving glances throughout the movie.

Does this make us totally weird? I bet the video store totally runs out of Saw 2 on Tuesday. But we may never know if it's because of people like us, or a bunch of single people taking out their hatred of valentine's day by watching people get killed.

In my world, we're all watching it together, with the ones we love.

Busy Bobby

I know it's not a good excuse or anything, but I really have been busy lately, still suffering with an upcoming root canal, negotiating my permanent job, and.... get excited here people, Justin got a kick ass job making more money than he's made before! Things are starting to look good. Well, except for the root canal thing, but I am drinking that one away for the weekend. Bourbon is a wonderful painkiller, when you don't have access to real pain killers.

I have some stuff in my head to post soon, and some stuff written on post it notes from work, and I should be returning to my semi-regular routine this week.

The police came and arrested a neighbor this morning. I didn't really know the guy, met him once or twice, he seemed nice. They took the handcuffs off at the end and put him in an ambulance, but not before four police cars came. So we think he was detained for drug or mental issues. And I guess this could technically happen anywhere, but this area of town is going downhill fast. We may be moving this Spring.

Did you know someone from MTV reads my blog? Seriously. If you remember this little post about O-Town, well, someone created a "reality" show about Ashley, the cute blond one. Jamwall made the astute comment he should be playing the "pool boy" on porn, and he would make way more money doing that. His dialog from the show (yes, I sat through a few minutes of one of them, I was drunk okay?) is about as good as a porn. So until I return, I leave you with the following picture, and the question, does Ashley look like a musician, or a porno pool boy? And why does he wear so much mascara?

All good things come to those that....

bitch a lot. Apparently.

Sorry about the delay. Really. And I'll get right to the point. I was finally offered full time REAL employment, (not temporary), but now I am not sure WHEN it's going to happen. I kind of made it conditional that it needs to happen before the end of the month, and they agreed, so basically, it end up being....

GOOD NEWS!

It's about time, huh? I have been reading blogs, just not commenting much. I will be back to normal soon, I may need a root canal, so I've been in some major pain on top of all the work stress, but more on that when I feel better. Thanks for hanging in there with me, and for all of the well-wishes.

insert previous post title here....

Yes. Still waiting. Trust me, I am way more annoyed than you. Not bad news though, just waiting for the hopefully good news.....

hold on, for one more day....

and things will go your way.

the first half of what needed to happen to provide me good work news happened today, just later than expected. now, for part 2, the important part, we all have to wait for tomorrow. it's killing me too.....

just hold on, for one more day.

Eskimos rock.

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Bobby!

1. It is bad luck to light three cigarettes with the same bobby.
2. Bobby can sleep for three and a half years.
3. The military salute is a motion that evolved from medieval times, when knights in armour raised their visors to reveal bobby.
4. Bobby has enough fat to produce 32 bars of soap.
5. The Eskimos have over fifty words for bobby.
6. Bobby is actually a vegetable, not a fruit.
7. Bobby cannot be detected by infrared cameras!
8. The queen of diamonds in a playing card deck symbolizes bobby!
9. In 1982 Time Magazine named bobby its 'Man of the Year'!
10. Bobby procrastinates worse than anything!

I am interested in - do tell me aboutherhimitthem

I don't think I could produce 32 bars of soap from my fat, maybe 20. I am happy I am a vegetable, not a fruit. The year I was named man of the year was the year Justin was born, coincidence? Yes, there's an age difference people, but he was completely legal when we met. Well, not when we met, but when we, uh, started dating. Whose idea was this anyway? Oh yeah, thanks to Spinning Girl for this one. (All hail SG! When you have blogger's block, nothing works better than reading some Spin!) And yes, I owe everyone a winner for the dog picture contest, and I have loved the Mariah ones.
There's some possible big news coming on the work front tomorrow, I will be back here (really) tomorrow to let you know.

Add the Caption Time! Vol. 2

I want to be semi-original with "add the caption" time, with either my own photos, or in this case, since this is not my picture, with adding some small variation. So, instead of just adding a caption to this picture, let's all pretend for a moment that Mariah Carey can read. If she could read, what would the book title be?
Come on, I know we can get some good ones with this.... for a sample of one of mine, hit the comments.

Saved by the... 'What The Hell'?

Don't forget, it's sentence Saturday over at Duff's. click here and scroll down to the sentence saturday entry.

I am starting to have my doubts about online quizzes. they used to be so accurate, but this one? I just don't know....


Which "Saved By The Bell" Character Are You?

I always felt a little more Zack-ish, with maybe a minor Kelly mixed in....

Sorry for the lack of posting lately, work and fighting a cold and sinus infection hasn't left me a lot of time. I am starting to get better though. And another picture for everyone to add captions to is coming soon, I enjoyed that a lot.

Has it been a week almost?

Wow, has it been almost a week since my last post? It's not my fault, but for some reason, I received lots of bourbon for my birthday. Somehow, people have the notion I like the stuff, I have no clue why they think that, but het, I am easy going, I go with the flow, and I wouldn't want to be rude, so I am drinking the hell out of it. Anyhow, I can barely remember this far back, but if you happen to be sober right now, you may remember me saying how we got a digital camera for Christmas. Well, below, you will see a picture of Keepher, our dog (the black one, for those of you who don't remember) checking out our neighbor's dog, also a min pin. I was racking my brain for a funny caption for the picture, but then I told myself, "Self, you're lazy" and thought it would be a good idea for you to come up with funny caption. Most of you are way funnier than me anyway. So here it is, the first "Make up a caption" contest on my blog. The winner will receive something, not sure what yet, self satisfaction maybe, who knows? Check out the picture below and submit a caption in the comments.

The Seventh of January

I got tagged.

In your Ipod: Happy Birthday Darling, by Conway Twitty.
In your Cd Player: 50 Cents, In da Club (It's your birthday.)
In your DVD Player: Mary Kate and Ashley's Birthday PartyHey, Justin's niece came over, and we watched it for her, really.
Last Snack you ate: Cake of some sort.
In your VCR: Capricorn One
Reading right now: It's my F---ing Birthday by Merrill Markoe.
That's it, a short tag without much of interest. Weird, but it got me thinking.
Thinking about people who were born on today's date, like Nicolas Cage. I once got free candy at the mall once because the guy asked me if I was related to Nicolas, I said yea, i'm his brother, and got free candy. Other people like Screech, from Saved by the Bell, Katie Couric, Keny Loggins, and almost as impressive as getting free candy, Erin Gray, from Buck Rogers!! She was born today, as well.

So, with lots of famous and interesting people, people who we love, born today, I thought that some pretty interesting things must have happened on today's date throughout history. And I made none of these up.

Bill Clinton's impeachment trial started on today's date in 1999.
Truman announces the US has developed a hydrogen bomb.
The Harlem Globetrotters played their first game in 1927, on today's date.
Motion Picture film was patended.
Pius V becomes Pope in 1566, and looks amazingly like the current Pope.
A cute little baby boy was born, who numerous years later would have a blog called Verbal Vomit.

So that's January 7. Let the bourbon drinking commence..... (who am I kidding? Let the bourbon drinking continue....)

Forgot something.....

This is the look I get when the whiskey is gone, too. Poor dog. I forgot to mention, Justin and I got a pretty decent digital camera for Christmas, so now, many more ORIGINAL pics. Not just ones I borrow. The dog isn't mine, it's one of our good friends. And yes, she was upset the whiskey was gone.

For one of our dog looking like Sherlock Holmes, or just totally gay, look below. He loves his jacket/cape, and gets an attitude when it is on. Anyway, Happy New Year all.

"Ending the Pressure" Post

So, um, yeah, I haven't posted in a week, and yes, I usually feel guilty, but it feels as though all of blogger land has been a little slow, with people being busy and such. Also, I haven't wanted to post, as I was trying to come up with something insanely profound to end the year with. So the past week I have pressured myself, jotted down notes, researched, all for you lovely people, to provide you with such a witty, wonderful post, that you would leave my blog crying, laughing, and calling/emailing all of your family and friends the link to my blog.

That brings us to today. Less than 6 hours, and I have nothing. BUt I did realize something. Blogger lets you edit stuff. So if I come up with something profound later, I could always post it like it was here on New Year's Eve. Some of you would know, others wouldn't. Also, maybe I should keep posting little bits and pieces of good posts, so that you keep coming back, right?

In any case, nothing horribly funny today, nothing profound, other than have a safe night, and make the next year better than the last. Even if it's just by a little bit.

Merry Christmas

I hope everyone has a great holiday. We will be going here and there, so I don't think I will be posting much until Monday. And this week has been crazy, so I have been bad at posting, but there will be a lot to catch up on next week. Take care everyone.

Merry Christmas!

MisInformation

Okay, I don't believe this, and I will be trying to confirm tomorrow, but apparently I was asked to leave a bar tonight. Yes, me. Some ass, in the middle of a conversation, asked if I was poor. He got distracted, and I left to get another drink, and the waiter and two other people told me this ass was apparently serious, and thought he was better than everyone else. So, I eventually ended up back with this ass, and when Justin walked off, he turned to me, and said, "he's not cute enough to put up with if he is poor."

I had it at this point, thanks to his attitude, and numerous bourbon shots, so I asked him if he was poor, and he acted all offended. I acted apologetic, and said, "I'm sorry, the wealthy people I socialize with have more class than that, to ask if someone is poor. I didn't realize you were one of those type of rich people."

Apparently, this wasn't this right thing to say, which was my point. He said some crappy stuff about me, and Justin, and when I was talking to some friends, I saw him putting his ashes on the floor, instead of one of the many ashtrays around. As I walked back to get Justin to leave, I picked up an extra ashtray and set it in front of him, and politely (heh heh) said, "here you go, now you can put your ashes in an ashtray, instead of the floor, like a poor person would."

I thought it was pretty funny, and witty, but my attitude caused some people to ask Justin to have me leave. I am asking you, dear, dear, readers, would you ever think I would be intentionally rude? No, I didn't think so, and shame on you, the two people who said yes. I know who you are. I am a nice person, dammit.

Anyway, I willl try to get back to regularly scheduled nice blogging tomorrow, but after a 14 hour catering job helping Justin yesterday, I am too tired to type anything nice. Maybe I need a wealthier computer.....

Poohback Mountain

In an astonishing move, the Winnie the Pooh franchise sold the rights to Pixar Studios to produce an animated version of Brokeback Mountain, the gay cowboy movie. Winnie and Christopher Robin will be playing the cowboys (or cowbear?) who fall in love. Rumor has it the nudity will be kept to a minimum, to attract a PG13 rating, but will have Winnie and Christopher french kiss and be shown waking up together covered in honey. (And Pooh doesn't wear pants anyway.)

Seriously though, did you hear about them remaking Winnie the Pooh, but replacing Christopher Robin with a girl? I guess that's nice for all the little girls out there who felt Winnie wasn't female friendly, but geez, they are basically just replacing Christopher with the girl, but keeping the same plots. Lame.

Poohback Mountain would be way more interesting.

Don't you want me, baby?

Wow. If you haven't seen this picture yet, try to guess who this is. No clue? Me either at first. It's Jody Watley. The one from the 80's? The singer? The one who used to look nice, and apparently gave herself an early Christmas present and got some cosmetic surgery, just in time for her new CD titled "The Makeover."

Seriously. The Makeover. What a great Christmas message. I hope I get a stocking full of botox and a gift certificate for my own makeover. Please Santa?

Politically Correct Holiday Greeting

You have heard previously how overboard the last company I worked for was with being politically correct, not offending anyone, etc. The past four years I sent out the email below as my "Holiday Greeting." It was meant as a parody of all of the different complaints about the "Holiday Season", but it was amazing how many people would write me back and ask if they could use the email. This is not mine, I don't know where I found it, so feel free to use it.... (And I am so glad the new place I am working is not this politically correct.)

A totally PC holiday greeting.

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally-conscious, socially-responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all . .
AND a fiscally-successful, personally-fulfilling, and medically-uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2006, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great, (not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only "America" in the western hemisphere),and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform, or sexual preference of the wishee.
DISCLAIMER:By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of
this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.

--------
Yes, I really sent this out. Sad. Merry Christmas everyone. I said it. If you don't celebrate it, fine, I'm not forcing you. If you celebrate something else, cool, go for it, but it doesn't mean I have to wish a happy "whatever the hell you are doing."