Okay okay. I am so sorry about not posting much lately. The tooth pain is slowly going away, as did the tooth. No root canal, and no tooth. Oh well, it wasn't an important tooth, couldn't even see it unless you were a dentist.
They made me permanent the Monday before last. With my salary requirements and my deadline. They tried to play me, I said I would be leaving if they couldn't do it by my terms, and they caved. Awesome. It was my first real salary negotiation, and I won. Hurray for me.
Now, time for another edition of "Stupid Emails." If you don't remember this, see this first entry of stupid emails. Remember, I work in the Staffing Department of HR, and people are trying to get jobs through this email address.
First off, here are some real email addresses people have used to apply for a job.
slacker (A real nice one while applying for a job.)
Ihateauthority
Slutpuppy04 (sorry, slutpuppies 1 through 3 already got the job)
bigdik12 (yes, that will help you get a job, just not this one. and come on, we all know you're not 12.)
Mybosssux
Thief041
Good huh? Now, I will help those of you who don't read my blog. When you save your resume, save it with your name and resume in the document title. Do not save it as something funny, and then send it. The following are resume attachment names we have received:
stupidwork.doc
fakeresume.doc (Trust me, they looked this one over real thoroughly.)
JakeSmith.doc (the applicant's name was Lisa Jones.)
momsmakingmedothis.txt (seriously, this kid had to know what he was doing.)
And now, for some great emails asking for employment:
Dear Sir or Madams, I am bilingual, english being my primarily first language, with Mexican being my second. I am quiet fluent in mexican, and can speak on phones with mexican people. please consider me for the.....
how many mistakes can you find in that?
Dear Staffing Dept, Currently the help I receive while in your stores is horrible and I would never think of shopping with you again. You need to hire more people like me to turn your company around....
They were applying for a delivery driver position. Delivery drivers apparently have more power than we thought.....
Dear HR, attaching is my resume. I am a English major, and would love to work in you're ads department, checking ads for accuraccy and thoroness. Please see my resume, which is inclosed.
wow. an English major? Seriously? I think not. The errors are not mine, they are simply copied and pasted.
I think I would have enough material like that to make a whole blog, but then when would you hear about me? And thank goodness there are all of these people out there, applying for jobs, otherwise they wouldn't need people like me to screen them out and make fun of them on my blog.
On a semi related note, I saw today the official policy which mentions not blogging about work. Oops.
15 comments:
i am quite fluent in mexican.
taco.
burrito.
quesadilla.
wow. just......wow.
those emails are awesome. and the addresses, too.
Haha, oh, you knew I'd love this post. I bet we could switch jobs for a day and run into the exact same people and the exact same stupidity. :)
No blogging about your job? It's a policy? How can they legally do that?
Duff, you can come party with me anytime.
Bobby, please don't get fired. Please please please.
I haven't seen my company's policy, so for now, I will blog on!
I will not get in trouble for blogging. I have not even hinted where i work. heh heh.
Happy, yep, same people, different forum.
Duff, Mexican is great. Much easier to learn than Spanish.
My vajayjay says hello.
i am fluent in oriental.
Kimberlina: HA!
Bobby, I don't know why you don't just write a damn book. About the emails or not. My God you're funny in a Dave Sedaris like way.
Also: It is VERY legal for companies to have policies about blogging about work.
I should know.
I got fired for it.
I can see not blogging anything identifiable about work...but if you blog anonymously, don't do it from work and it's not apparent who you are or what company you work for, they can get bent!
Where are you? I've looked all over. Did SG's vajayjay eat you?
What the hell, dude?
I have yet to see a 'No Bloggin at Work'policy here, thank God. I'd be fired for sure.
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